I believe that working on our marriage/love relationship is some of the most imporant work that we can do. When our marriage feels solid and secure, it serves as a strong emotional base for the rest of our lives. When our relationship is distressed, on the other hand, life becomes a little -- or a lot --- harder. We're often more preoccupied and less productive, our relationships with our children may suffer and we feel less at ease and secure within ourselves.
Unfortunately, in our busy lives, our marriages tend to be one of the first areas of our lives we neglect. We may find ourselves fighting more, feeling distant or deeply misunderstood in the very relationship we intended to be our closest.
Whether you're in a married, unmarried, gay or straight relationship, couples therapy can help. The couples I work with are typically experiencing conflict, distance or both. Some are on the brink of separating, some are reeling from the aftermath of an affair. Some are just beginning to question their commitment to one another. Others are sure of their commitment but are looking to work through specific areas of conflict or simply to deepen a relationship that has come to feel somewhat distant or routine. All are seeking a greater sense of closeness and clarity in their relationships.
I use a well established approach, Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT). This is a non-judgmental approach grounded in attachment theory and the knowledge that much of what strengthens or frays intimate relationships lies in the emotional aspects of the messages we send one another. With this grounding, couples learn to unlock "stuck" patterns of interacting that drive conflicts and distance. Couples learn to communicate in ways that are more direct and in keeping with their deepest needs. As a result, you're likely to feel closer, better understood by your partner and better able to work through the challenges of life as a closer and more connected team.